YES… BUT!
1 Kings 19:16b, 19-21; Galatians 5:1, 13-18; Luke 9:51-62
In his book “Games People Play”, Eric Berne talks about the “why don’t you… yes but” game that many people play. Players start by lamenting a problem but find excuses for every solution offered. One example of the game!
White: “My husband always insists on doing our own repairs, and he never builds anything right.”
Black: “Why doesn’t he take a course in carpentry?” White: “Yes, but he doesn’t have time.”
Blue: “Why don’t you buy him some good tools?” White: “Yes, but he doesn’t know how to use them.”
Red: “Why don’t you have your building done by a carpenter?” White: “Yes, but that would cost too much.”
Brown: “Why don’t you just accept what he does the way he does it?” White: “Yes, but the whole thing might fall down.”
Like White, many of us suffer from the “yes, but…” syndrome. We are ready to get down to our books, start that much-postponed project, begin changing our behaviour, take on the world and maybe even climb Mount Everest but…
In the gospel, the anonymous trio of would-be followers are “yes-butters”.
The first is enthusiastic to follow Jesus, who cautions him that he must be ready for a tough life without necessities and be prepared to identify with the poor.
The second asks if he can first stay and bury the dead, a necessary family obligation. Jesus’ admonition seems harsh. However, he is clear that following him requires single-minded commitment. This is the commitment and detachment that Elisha shows (in the first reading) when he slaughters his oxen and uses the equipment that comes with them for fuel.
The third first wanted to go to say goodbye to his family. He resembles Elisha of the first reading! Jesus is emphatic that there is no looking back when it comes to following him. We can neither wallow in past sins nor boast of past successes if we are to be fit for the kingdom of God.
In what areas of my life am I a “yes-butter”? What are the “buts” that prevent me from following Jesus: comforts; familial and societal responsibilities; successes and failures? Am I willing to overcome the “yes, but…” syndrome?
Jesus sets the example himself of single-minded commitment: “He resolutely determined to journey to Jerusalem”! Interestingly, in the garden of Gethsemane, Jesus reverses the “yes, but…” syndrome. He asks the Father: “Remove this cup from me, but not my will but yours be done” (Luke 22:42)!
May you and I stop playing the “yes but” game and follow Jesus.
