BUILD BRIDGES NOT BARRIERS
Ezekiel 33:7-9; Romans 13:8-10; Matthew 18:15-20
In “The Great Divorce”, C. S. Lewis writes that hell is like a vast city inhabited only at the periphery; it has rows and rows of empty houses in the middle – empty because the residents quarrelled with their neighbours and moved. Then, they quarrelled with their new neighbours and moved again. This process of quarrel-move-quarrel slowly left the old neighbourhoods empty. Hell has gotten so large because everyone chose distance instead of honest confrontation.
Lewis’ picture is as true as it’s stark! When someone hurts us, it’s either fight or – more often than not – flight! “Let it be” is the preferred course of action… with one problem: we do not “let it be”!
In today’s gospel, Jesus sets guidelines for conflict resolution. He challenges us to seek reconciliation by talking to the person instead of about the person!
The first step is dialogue: “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault…” Dialogue is not a finger-pointing venture; it is an honest, specific communication of perspectives/feelings.
If/when dialogue fails, if the other refuses to see his/her fault or rebuffs the attempt at reconciliation, resort to step two – diplomacy: “If he does not listen, take one or two others along with you…”
If/when diplomacy also fails, move to step three: “Treat him as you would a Gentile or a tax collector.” Is step three dissociation? That would be easy, but Jesus loved the Gentile and the tax collector, and never ceased to associate with them.
So, step three is perhaps deep love (this is not affection!). This is what Paul tells the Romans (second reading): “Owe no one anything except to love one another… love does no wrong to a neighbour.”
The underlying reason behind this strategy is hinted at in the First Reading. The Lord tells Ezekiel to speak to people when they are wrong. This is to help them back to the community.
This pericope ends with a reminder that attempts at carefrontation must be in a context of prayer.
We can’t always make peace with those who hurt us, but we can and must still love them… unless we want to live in hell.
Will I resolve hurts through dialogue, diplomacy, and deep love, and be reconciled with the people who have hurt me? Will I build barriers or build bridges? How will I restore my relationship with creation?
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